The Good, the Bad, and the Insane
by Shadowmusic
Summary: Before Lord Voldermort kills the Potters, he has to deal with Lady Shade. Unfortunetly for him, the Lady is insane. (Complete)
1. Death Wish

Disclaimer- All Harry Potter stuff belongs to JK Rowling. All insane stuff belongs to Mindi the Purple Skunk.  
  
(I tried to limit the insanity, but Mindi got the better of me. Please excuse all character and timeline errors. Mindi never read Harry Potter and is depending on my limited knowledge. R&R. No flames please.)  
  
Chapter One - Death Wish  
  
Lord Voldermort swept down the hallways of his Secret Hideout. As a matter of fact, this was his favorite activity. He enjoyed sweeping down corridors with the hem of his wizard's robe sweeping up dust. He could tell by the state of his robes that the maids had not swept this corridor recently. He started to ring for the maids then stopped. He had killed all the maids last week when he had been perfecting his Killing Curse.   
  
This fact had the effect of putting him in a very bad mood. There was only one thing he could do now. Murder someone. Lord Voldermort reached for the Wizard's Phone Book. He opened it to the P section and found: Potter, James and Lily. Lord Voldermort smiled and reached for his wand. Then, fate took a hand.   
  
Fate was bored. The world was so predictable. Lord Voldermort would kill yet another innocent wizard family and the cycle of mourning would begin again. Then, Fate had an idea. Fate remembered an old family friend, Lady Shade. Fate grinned evilly. This would be fun! Fate sent a lightning bolt streaking down to Earth.   
  
Lord Voldermort looked up as the bolt of light illuminated the room. He gaped in horror. So much dust! He turned to summon the maids then remembered their untimely deaths. This had the effect of putting him in a very, very bad mood. There was only one thing to do now. Murder someone. He reached for the Phone Book and opened it. Shade, Lady of Witch's Creek. He copied the address on a spare bit of parchment, noticing another address already their. The Potters. He would deal with them later, after Lady Shade. Lord Voldermort Disapperated.   
  
He watched Witch Creek Manor out of slitted eyes. Navki had told him the Lady was alone in the house. He absentmindedly pet the snake as he peered through the swiftly approaching darkness at the great manor house. 'Might as well get it over with.' he thought, then Apperated inside. Shade sat in the entrance hall staring mindlessly out the window from the shadows. She did not react to Voldermort's arrival. He glared at her. Some people called her creative. Most people called her insane. Voldermort didn't know for certain, but he knew that no one had ever proven anything against the witch.   
  
He raised his wand and cleared his throat. Shade looked up. He pointed his wand.   
"Avada Kadavra."  
A flash of blue momentarily obscured his vision. 'Blue? I thought Avada Kadavra was green!' The neon blue flamingo flopped to the floor, dead.   
"You meanie! You killed Crayola!"  
"Crayola?"  
"My neon blue flamingo!"  
"This is going to be a loooong day."  
Shade suddenly narrowed her eyes. "Hey! I know you!" Lord Voldermort threw out his cape dramatically.  
"Yes, I am Lord Volder-"  
"Your my daddy!"  
Voldermort's mouth dropped open. "Daddy?" he stammered.   
"That's right! Now give me a hug!" she cried, bouncing to her feet and out of the shadows.   
  
Lady Shade looked to be in her late 20s or early 30s. She had knee length silver hair, held on place by a slender gold circlet. Her unique violet eyes where wide and innocent. She was dressed as a Muggle in a white blouse and long grey skirt. Around her throat hung a thin gold chain on which hung a small jade dragon.   
  
Shade was advancing on Lord Voldermort with hands outstretched. He jumped back, then remembered his wand.   
"Avada Kedavra!" he cried, after making sure that no more flamingos lurked in the shadows. Shade moved surprisingly fast, ducking under the spell, then leaping at him. Her arms pinned his to his side, and his wand clattered to the floor. Voldermort leaped backward and Shade tripped. He wretched one of his arms free, then pushed her away and dove for his wand. He rolled to his feet, wand outstretched menacingly. Shade's response was a grin.   
"Do you want to die?!" the enraged wizard roared. He was taken by surprise when Shade promptly nodded. "I have a death wish."  
  
Lord Voldermort took a step backward. This was not going at all like any of his other murders! He turned away from her and began to breath deeply. The he decided 'What the hell! I'm leaving.' and began to run toward the door.   
"Petrificus Halfalus!" Shade cried. He felt the stiffening of his legs as the Leg Locker Curse started to take effect, then fell completely forward. Shade kicked him over, onto his back.   
"I've got an idea!" she cried, temporarily forgetting her death wish. "Let's play Hide-And-Go-Seek!"  
"Oh, goody."  
"I'll hide and you seek!" the witch yelped. She skipped off - with Voldermort's wand.  
  
(Okay, thanks for reading this! Please R & R!) 


	2. HideAndSeek

Disclaimer- All Harry Potter stuff belongs to JK Rowling. All insane stuff belongs to Mindi. I don't own anything so don't sue me.  
  
Thanks to all those wonderful people who reviewed. You guys are all great! My italics isn't working half the time so the story might sound a bit weird.  
  
Anne Riddle- Thanks!  
Blazing Magnolia- This fic isn't really that deep. Basically, Shade is going to continue to drive Voldermort insane until. . .but I'm not giving away the ending.  
? - Thanks!   
  
Chapter Two - Hide-And-Seek  
  
Shade skipped into her kitchen. 'A kitchen, wow!' she thought. 'I haven't been in one of these for a long time! I wonder who it belongs to?' Shade opened the fridge. It was empty, but that didn't matter. It was unplugged anyway. Shade began opening the long unused cabinets, raising a cloud of dust. "Empty, empty, empty, full, empty, empty...Wait. Full?'  
  
Shade glanced back at the cabinet. Inside was a ten pound bag of sugar. Shade shrugged. It wasn't a meal, but it was something. She wondered how it had got there. She hadn't been grocery shopping in...in... Actually, she had never been grocery shopping in her life! She paused briefly to thank Fate, then started shoveling sugar into her mouth as fast as she could.   
  
Meanwhile, Lord Voldermort had finally dragged himself into the kitchen. The first thing he encountered was an empty ten-pound bag of sugar. 'That can't be good.' he thought. Then Shade bounced over to him.   
"YOUFOUNDME,BUTTHAT'SOKAY. IFORGOTTOHIDEINTHEFIRSTPLACE."  
she chirped, to fast for Voldermort to understand.  
He reached up and almost succeeded in getting his wand back, but Shade jerked it away at the last second.   
"NOPE,YOUBADBOY! YOU'RENOTGETTINGTHISBACKUNTILWEFINISH  
THEGAME."  
"I don't care about the game! Just give me back my wand!" Voldermort yelled.  
"NOPE, CATCHMEIFYOUCAN!" yelled Shade, dancing just out of reach.  
"What is this, tag?"  
"ACTUALLY, NOWTHATYOUMENTIONIT, TAGISMYFAVORITEGAME!"  
"Uh oh"  
Shade reached out and lightly touched Voldermort on the arm. "TAG, YOU'REIT!" she cried and raced out of the room, shrieking.   
  
Voldermort groaned and started dragging himself toward the entrance hall. He didn't even care about his wand anymore; he just wanted out of this place! When he got to the entrance hall, he found Shade waiting for him. She was trying to balance Crayola's dead body on the tip of Voldermort's wand.   
"No, don't do that. You'll break it!" Voldermort cried. Shade shrugged.  
"OHWELL. YOURLOSS." she cried, throwing the wand behind her - right out the open window.   
  
Voldermort made a spectacular leap to intercept the wand - and fell flat on his face as his still locked legs refused to cooperate. Shade grinned suddenly, evilly. She walked over and closed and locked the window and both doors, using the same key. She then dangled the old-fashioned golden key in front of Voldermort's face.   
"COMEANDGETME!" she cried, then raced away.   
  
(Thanks again for reading. Review please!) 


	3. Sugar High

Disclaimer- All Harry Potter stuff belongs to JK Rowling. All insane stuff belongs to Mindi. I don't own anything so please don't sue me for my muse's deranged mind.  
  
(A/N: I know I haven't updated in at least a month. I blame my computer that was down for at least three weeks and my muse that was on vacation. Mindi's back now and ready to traumatize all characters again. Hopefully my italics are working. Thank you to all my reviewers for putting up with me! ^_^)  
  
Kristabelle- Thanks! Blazing Magnolia- You reviewed me again! Thanks!  
  
Chapter Three - Sugar High  
  
Shade rushed into the greenhouse. She briefly wondered why someone had built a greenhouse that no one ever went into smack in the middle of the Manor. The skylights in the roof gave the plants plenty of sunlight, but there was no source of water. Or was there? Shade ran smack into the cold river. 'That's right' she thought. 'The Manor's built directly on top of Witch Creek.' And then she was swept out of the room.  
  
Just seconds after Shade's exit, Lord Voldermort entered the greenhouse. He had found a sturdy umbrella in the entrance hall to use as a crutch and could now hop along at a fairly fast pace. He stopped at the entrance. A greenhouse? In the middle of a manor? He glared at the room, overrun with weeds. And trees. 'What sort of maniac plants redwood trees in a greenhouse?' he thought. 'Well obviously, Lady Shade's type of maniac.' The trees were so tall that they had broken through the skylights. And it would be exactly like Shade to climb the trees and jump on him as he passed underneath.  
  
Lord Voldermort started through the greenhouse, eyes pointed toward the ceiling - and fell right into Witch Creek. He was swept along by the current through a hole in the wall. He passed through several rooms until he finally managed to swim to shore without the use of his legs. He climbed out of the creek and into what was obviously a dressing room.  
  
From what he could see of the dimly lit room, the owner had spared no expense on him or herself. The room was furnished in expensive woods and colorful silks. Voldermort smiled to himself. After he killed that wretched Lady Shade maybe he should make Witch Creek Manor his new hideout. It was certainly very grand.  
  
Shade sat on a cushion in the lounge, bored out of her mind. This wasn't the first time she had fallen into Witch Creek and probably wouldn't be her last either. She had escaped its watery grasp easily and had laid back to sun herself dry. This obviously was not working, since she was inside. Still sopping wet, Shade climbed to her feet and began to pace. She paced right out of the room and into the dressing room across the hall.  
  
Voldermort jumped in surprise as Shade entered the room. He began to hop toward the river, hoping desperately that Shade wouldn't see him before he got there. Shade glanced at him. "Hi" she muttered dully. Then it hit her. "HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI", she cried, grabbing Voldermort before he could escape and dragging him to a chair.  
  
Shade forced him down, but Voldermort came to his senses then and pushed her away. He started to get up - and found himself staring at a wand pointed his way. "OHNOYOUDON'T. SITDOWN!" Shade ordered. Lord Voldermort shuddered. He had forgotten that the witch must obviously have a wand. The madwoman didn't need one. She was dangerous enough already. And thinking of dangerous. Voldermort had an idea that just might work. It was insane and dangerous and felt like something Shade might think up. At that thought Voldermort shuddered again and rejected the idea. So he did the only thing he could at the moment. He sat down.  
  
Shade grinned, reached over, and opened a drawer. Inside was - makeup. Lord Voldermort groaned. 'I have a very very bad feeling about this.'  
  
*~*~* ½ an hour later *~*~*  
  
Shade held a mirror in front of Voldermort and he tried not to scream. He was so covered in makeup that his face felt like it was caked in mud. "YOU LOOK GLAMOUROUS!" Shade cried. He looked pathetic. "Enough!" he cried, struggling to his feet. Before Shade could react, he had plunged headfirst into the river. Her last words as he floated out of sight were, "YOU'LL RUIN YOUR MAKEOVER!"  
  
Voldermort surfaced a while later in another room. He had planned on drowning himself rather than face another second of that deranged madwoman but the water was too shallow for this. He seemed to have floated into some sort of dungeon. He felt smooth stone beneath his feet as he hopped hopelessly on. He had dropped the umbrella in the greenhouse so now he dragged himself through the glowing water. 'Wait! Glowing water? Of course! The Creek has to leave the Manor somewhere!' He was seeing the reflection of the moon on the water. And it was coming from right behind that bend! Voldermort raced around the bend - right into an iron gate! (A/N: You didn't think I'd let him get away that easily!) He pulled at the bars to no avail. They were stuck fast. Then he heard the sound of a gate opening. The Lady Shade stepped through out of the dungeon door located behind him. Lord Voldermort stared at her. Shade was quickly coming to represent the physical entity of all his fears.  
  
(That's all for now! Thanks for reading this. REVIEW!) 


	4. The Dungeon

Disclaimer- Everything to do with Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling. I am not responsible for Mindi's insanity so don't sue me.  
  
(A/N: Thanks once again to my reviewers! My italics are not working after all so I'm going back to putting things in CAPS. I have a slight case of writer's block right now so this chapter might be short.)  
  
Ice Bear- Thanks! Veronica Owens- Thanks! KeeperOfTheMoon- Thanks! Arwen Rayne- Sorry if I ruined your plot. Shade isn't REALLY Voldermort's daughter, she just thinks she is.  
  
Chapter Four - The Dungeon  
  
Lady Shade smiled as she approached Voldermort. She'd had more fun in the last hours than she'd had in years. She fingered her wand lovingly. She had completely forgotten she had it until Voldermort had tried to fight back. It was like the wand had a mind of its own.  
  
Shade's Wand laughed gleefully. It had decided it liked it's mistress even if she was insane. At least she was creative, even if she didn't remember Tom Riddle from their old school days. Oh well. The Wand remembered and it was quite happy to complete it's duty of driving Lord Voldermort insane.  
  
Voldermort watched in apprehension as Shade cackled maniacally. "LET'S PLAY DOLLIE!" she cried. 'Dollie. Why does that sound so familiar?' Then Lord Voldermort had (horror of horrors) a FLASHBACK!  
  
*FLASHBACK*  
  
Tom was in Herbology, listening to the elderly Professor Herb droning on and on about a particular project. "Now it's time to assign partners. Let's see, um, Bertha with, um, let's see, um, Jacob and Tom with, um." 'Not Shade. Please not Shade.' Tom prayed. "Um, let's see, Shade." 'NOOOOO!' And then the childish face of Shade herself was bouncing toward him, grinning. "Let's play dollie!" she shrieked. She pulled out her doll of Professor Mumpus, the old Care of Magical Creatures professor. He, like so many others, has mysteriously vanished after being driven insane by Shade. His only consolment was that it couldn't be long before she was driven insane herself.  
  
*END FLASHBACK*  
  
Shade was dragging him through the dungeon to a small tea party. Sitting at the table was Professor Mumpus, Professor Herb, the majority of his class, and most of the world's "missing people". Shade sat him between Amelia Earhart and Princess Anastasia. (A/N: I don't think I spelled Earhart right.) He looked at the two of them in fascination. 'I may soon be joining their ranks' he thought with a shudder.  
  
His face paled as he realized who was sitting across from him. Professor Dumbledore. After a moment though he shouted with joy. With Professor Dumbledore out of the way, he could continue his reign of terror unobstructed. "OH, DON'T WORRY, HE'S NOT DEAD OR INSANE, JUST A ZOMBIE." Shade said smoothly, squashing his hopes. "You scare me. You really truly scare me." "I KNOW, SUGAR IS FUN, ISN'T IT?" At this point Shadowmusic admitted to Mindi and her readers that she had writer's block and ended the too short chapter.  
  
(I'm really REALLY sorry that this chapter is so short. I'll try to get the next one up very soon. Please review.) 


	5. A Visitor

Disclaimer: All Harry Potter stuff belongs to JK Rowling. I'm am not responsible for Mindi's insane use of plagiarized material.  
  
(A/N: I just about got rid of that writer's block, partially because of some great ideas my reviewers gave my. Special thanks to Arwen Rayne. The sweetener idea belongs to her! Just a note: I might be a little late with the next chapter, please forgive me.)  
  
Lady Russell Homes - Thanks.I think. I've never seen Cowboy Bebop, so I would really have no idea. Psychotic Teenager From Hell - Thanks! Arwen Rayne - You reviewed me again, thanks! Thanks for the ideas as well. Ideas are ALWAYS appreciated. I can't use the Harry or Dudley one because they're just babies - this is before Voldermort went after the Potters. However, thanks for the sweetner idea!  
  
Chapter Five - A Visitor  
  
Lord Voldermort stared at Lady Shade. He figured there wasn't much the deranged witch could do to him that hadn't already happened. He was wrong. Lady Shade snapped her fingers and Dumbledore stood up. "Fetch the Book." she ordered. Voldermort noticed hopefully that the sugar seemed to be wearing off. That was a good sign.he thought. Professor Dumbledore returned with a large leather-bound book. "Every single person I've driven insane is listed in this book." She announced proudly.  
  
Voldermort opened the book to the first page. "Oliver the Multicolored Rottweiler?" "My first victory." Shade replied. "Only I think I was still learning or something. He didn't turn out right." She snapped her fingers again and whistled shrilly, causing Voldermort to grab his ears in pain. Within seconds the ghost of a large multicolored rottweiler ran into the room.  
  
Shade grinned fondly. "Isn't he cute?" "Very colorful." "I'm so glad you like him! You see Oliver has a tendency to eat other people's pets. And he hasn't been fed in a while, soooo." Voldermort definitely did not like the look that passed over Shade's face. 'Nope, she's even more dangerous when there's no sugar clouding her brain.' he thought. The Lady leaned down and whispered something in Oliver's ear. Oliver disappeared in a puff of multi-colored smoke.  
  
Shade turned back to her "guest". "Oh. I'm so upset! You didn't drink any of your tea!" she exclaimed. Automatically, Voldermort grabbed his cup and brought it to his lips - only to spit the white liquid out again an instant later. "What's in this junk?!" he cried. Shade blinked innocently. Well I ran out of sugar...and milk...and tea, so I just put in some artificial sweetener!" she said. "So, what you're telling me is that this is sugar water." Voldermort said slowly. "That sounds right." Shade agreed, casually sipping her "tea". Inside Voldermort's brain was going in circles. 'Shade.sugar.insanity.not good.' he thought hazily, watching Shade finish her cup. Shade grinned crazily, and Voldermort changed his earlier thought. 'Correction, she's more dangerous on a sugar high.' "ANYWAY, TIMEFORMOREFUN!" "Uhoh." Voldermort was learning very fast to fear those words.  
  
Fate grinned evilly. Things were going so well! And if Fate was correct, and Fate usually was, another surprise was in store for Voldermort. One that he would just die to see.  
  
Ding-Dong! The doorbell's tone rang throughout the Manor. And was it Voldermort's imagination or was it playing the funeral march? "OHCOOL! SOMEONE'SHERE!" Shade grabbed Voldermort by the hand and started pulling him through the Manor. Voldermort managed to keep pace for a moment or two, then fell to the ground and let himself be dragged. After a trip through the Manor, in which Voldermort was thrown down several flights of stairs, Shade finally remembered where the front door was. Leaving Voldermort in a bruised heap, she took the key from her pocket and opened the door.  
  
A pretty middle aged woman stood in the doorway. She had shoulder - length silver hair and blue eyes. The similarity between her and Shade was amazing. "BETHANY!" Shade cried. "OH, COMEIN! COMEIN!" Shade ushered in her guest. Oliver trotted in behind her, chewing on a dead snake. It was Navki, of course. "OOPS! ITHINKOLIVERATEYOURPET!" "That's the understatement of the year." The stranger said, looking at the mangled corpse.  
  
Shade fingered the woman's silver hair. "ILOVEYOURHAIR. IWISHMYHAIRWASTHATCOLOR." "Actually, it is!" Shade drew a lock of her own hair and stared at it. "REALLY? HOWCOOL! WHOAREYOU, BYTHEWAY?" The stranger frowned. "You know what? I don't know!" Voldermort's heart sank. This was not good. Then his eyes caught on the door. Which was, of course, still open. Voldermort lunged for the door.and fell flat on his face as his legs refused to cooperate. "TSK, TSK, YOUBADBOY!" Shade said as she once again closed and locked the door. She then turned to the woman. "NOWWHATDIDYOUSAYYOURNAMEWAS?" "I didn't." she replied. "Bethany." Voldermort said dully. "WHAT?" "You called her Bethany before." "THAT'SRIGHT, IDID." Shade exclaimed, patting Voldermort's head like a dog. "GOODDOGGIE!" Voldermort wagged his tail. 'Wait! Since when do I have a tail?' "Oops!" Bethany said. "I think Navki bit you!" (A/N: Do not try this at home. It's not physically possible, but who cares?) Then, the poison set in and Voldermort saw black.  
  
When he woke up, he found himself on a bed, unable to move. At first, he thought someone had used a Full Body Lock on him. Then, he realized that he was tied up in bandages. "Oh, good. You're awake. I'll go get my sister." Bethany said. 'Her sister?' Voldermort thought. 'Oh, of course. Shade.' Bethany returned with Shade behind her. "OOOOOOH! ABANDAGE!" Shade cried, and immediately started unraveling a bandage. Bethany frowned at Voldermort. "Who are you again?" Voldermort tried to look impressive and failed miserably. "I am the great - " "THAT'SDADDY!" Shade interrupted. "Oooh! Daddy!" Bethany squealed. "I'm going to love you, and squeeze you, and hug you, and - " "Alright, alright! At least untie me! I look like a mummy!" Bethany looked confused. "But I thought you were a daddy, not a mommy." ". . . " "Oh, look! He's speechless! Oh, Daddy! I've never been so proud!" Bethany squealed. Both women gaped at Voldermort in mute astonishment. Voldermort sighed and took the temporary reprieve to look around the room. There was only one other bed, which was currently being occupied by Crayola. Voldermort blinked. 'I thought Crayola was dead?' "Oh, don't worry!" said Shadowmusic. "With Mindi anything is possible!" Voldermort stared at Shadowmusic. "Who the h*** are you?" "Oh, that's right! I'm not supposed to be here!" Shadowmusic disappeared. And, of course, she "accidentally" left Mindi in the fic.  
  
(Thanks to all my readers! I wonder what mayhem Mindi will cause now that she's in the fic? *grins evilly* REVIEW!) 


	6. Purple Skunk

Disclaimer- JK Rowling owns Harry Potter. Mindi owns all insanity. I own nothing so don't sue me.  
  
(A/N: Sorry for the long wait. My school is performing our annual play this weekend and I've been at practices every night this week until about 8:00 at night. I've been trying to write this chapter during practice, but don't be surprised if this chapter isn't as funny.)  
  
Arwen Rayne- Thanks for reviewing again. Sorry if it seems like it takes forever for me to update.  
  
I am Special- Thanks! Now I know who Mindi's been getting lessons from!  
  
Lady Russell Holmes- Thanks for reviewing again. Mindi completely agrees.  
  
Chapter Six - Purple Skunks  
  
Voldermort stared at the strange creature at the foot of his bed. A purple skunk? Bethany was the first to notice. "Oh Shade, I'm so glad you brought your pet! And did I mention how happy I am to have you visit?" "IAM?" "No no no." Voldermort groaned. "You're visiting Shade!" "I am?" "Yes, you are." "Oh, okay. By the way, where did you put your skunk?" "MY skunk?" Voldermort glanced around, but sure enough, Mindi was gone.  
  
Shade stared at Voldermort. "WHYAREYOUINBANDAGES?" "Um, he's having an operation?" Bethany guessed. "OH, OKAY!" Shade opened a random drawer, which conveniently was full of knives. "No, I am NOT having an operation." Voldermort said hastily. Shade took a knife and started slicing through the bandages. Voldermort was starting to think he was insane for just staying in the house. There must be an open window somewhere! He kicked at Shade as she started to slice him up and shakily stood up. The sisters had identical deranged grins on their faces. These grins did not falter in the least when a herd of rampaging emu trampled Crayola. "LOOKANEMU!" "AN emu?" "Purple Skunk! Purple Skunk!" "Aaaah! I'm allergic to skunks!"  
  
Sure enough, Mindi had come back into the room and Voldermort was wheezing. Shade and Bethany shared a look. They both shrugged. "Oh well." "LOOKWEHAVE ANEWPLAYMATE!" "Cool!" Voldermort sneezed. "Get this thing away from me!" Mindi came closer. "Purple Skunk!" Outside in the hallway an organ began playing Beethoven's Fifth. "LET'SPLAYRING-AROUND- THE-LIBRARY!" "Ring-around-the-library?" "RING-AROUND-THE- ROSYINTHELIBRARY." "Oh."  
  
Shade grabbed one of Voldermort's hands and Bethany seized the other. After dragging him up five flights of stairs and pushing him down two, they came to a large room with fancy furniture. "THELIBRARY!" Shade announced. Voldermort stared. "Looks like a parlor to me." "Purple Skunk!" A book fell out of the sky and landed on Voldermort's head. Voldermort looked up. "Uhoh." A torrent of books fell out of the sky, all landing in a heap on Voldermort's head. Shade surveyed the pile with pride. "LIBRARY." she said smugly. Voldermort dug himself out of the pile. He lay on the floor and looked out the open window at the forest beyond. 'Open window?' Voldermort leapt to his feet. The only thing blocking him from the window was.Mindi. Voldermort could have sworn the creature smiled evilly at him. "Purple Skunk!" The window slammed shut.  
  
"NOOOOOO!" Voldermort cried, lunging for Mindi's throat. Of course, the lunge didn't go so well, and Voldermort landed sprawled face down at Mindi's feet. He glared at her. Mindi jumped on his head and ran down his back. "ACHOO!" he sneezed. "TIMEFORRING-AROUND-THE-LIBRARY!" Shade yelled, dragging him to his feet and forcing him to take Bethany's hand. Shade and Bethany linked hands and Mindi jumped up onto their outstretched arms, smiling evilly at Voldermort from across the circle. Shade started tugging him, forcing him to go around the pile of books. And around. And around. And around. Voldermort staggered dizzily. Mindi chose that moment to jump onto him head. "Purple Skunk!" The world came to an end. Then Shadowmusic microwaved it for seventeen seconds and it revived. Voldermort cursed. "Damn Shadowmusic. Damn skun- a..a..ACHOO!" Mindi jumped off him and Shade and Bethany chose that moment to let go, sending him flying backward. Voldermort got up angrily and spun around to face three identical evil grins. And he didn't like the face that both Shade and Bethany were holding their hands behind their backs . . .  
  
(A/N: What are Shade and Bethany holding? . . . I have no clue. But Mindi might know. Sorry again about the wait and the chapter length. REVIEW PLEASE!) 


	7. Insanity

Disclaimer- I am not responsible for Mindi plagiarizing all Harry Potter stuff from JK Rowling. Any lawyers attempting to sue Mindi will face the wrath of the Purple Skunk.  
  
(A/N: I'm running out of chapter titles. Just a note that next chapter will finish up this story. Mindi thought up a rather STRANGE ending. I'm using ANOTHER new word processor on this chapter so it might look screwed up. Sorry! Thanks again to my reviewers!)  
  
Arwen Rayne - LOL, good idea. Thanks again for reviewing!  
  
RocketSolarCat - Thanks!  
  
Chapter Seven - Insanity   
  
Shade and Bethany grinned at each other then slowly took their hands out from behind their backs. They were holding . . . a lump of indistinguishable black stuff on a plate. "SNACKTIME!" Shade cried happily. Bethany nodded knowingly "I'm always hungry after playtime." Voldermort looked at the "food" Shade presented to him. "I'm not hungry." "Purple Skunk!" A lump of something best not described appeared on top of Shade's cooking. "OHLOOK! MAPLESYRUP!" "Maple Syrup?" "EATUP!" Voldermort backed away. Bethany was foaming at the mouth and muttering phrases like "The sheep are lying." and "Decapitate all jumpropes!" This did not sound reassuring.  
  
Both women advanced on Voldermort with identical smiles. 'What is it with them and smiling anyway?' Voldermort thought. Shade was still forcing the food at him and he looked around wildly for a distraction. "Um, you can't eat in a parlor?" "I thought it was a library." said Bethany. "WHATDOYOUWANTTOEATBOOKSFORANYWAY?" "I don't want to eat them I want to um, shelf them! That's it! Shelf them!" Shade frowned. "ALRIGHT! YOURCHOICE!" Bethany smiled. "Time to learn the deweydecimal system!" Voldermort chocked. "The what?" "The deweydecimal system! It's how you shelf books! Now look. This is a nonfiction book so it goes, um..." Bethany looked about. "Here!" She shoved the book beneath the carpet. "And this is mystery so it goes here!" She put the book on top of the door lintel. "And this is fiction, so it goes here!" She put it on top of the lamp.   
  
While Bethany "shelved" the books, Voldermort tried to sneak out the door. As soon as he opened the door, however, the mystery book on the lintel fell and hit him on the head. He tripped and fell. Mindi jumped on him. "Purple Skunk! Purple Skunk!" An angry looking bull appeared in the hallway. It glared at Voldermort, then snorted. "Uhoh." Voldermort was saying that a lot lately. The bull had a dog collar around it's neck with the name "Fred" on it. 'Fred?' "OHLOOK! HOWCUTE! ABULLNAMEDGEORGE!" "George? I thought it was named Mindi?" Bethany said. "BUTWASN'TMINDIANEMU?" The two women looked at each other. "Oh well!"   
  
Voldermort glared at them and shoved Mindi off his back. "This is all your fault!" he yelled at the most "defenseless" of his tormentors. If anything, Mindi's smile grew larger. To his surprise she let him grab a fire poker and advance on her. Then . . . Voldermort saw a flash of purple light and he was thrown against the opposite wall, accidently skewering Fred. Shadowmusic glared at Voldermort."Attacking my muse! Absolutely not!" She picked up Mindi carefully. Mindi stuck her tongue out at Voldermort over Shadowmusic's shoulder. Before Voldermort could react, Shadowmusic and Mindi were gone and a VERY angry Fred was glaring at Voldermort. "Uhoh."  
  
(A/N: Please review!) 


	8. The Conclusion

Disclaimer - I don't own anything so don't sue me.  
  
(A/N: The last chapter! It has a very strange conclusion so please don't flame me if you don't like it. Flame Mindi instead.)  
  
Lady Russell Holmes - Thanks for reviewing again!  
  
RocketSolarCat - Thanks for reviewing again!  
  
Chapter 8 - The Conclusion  
  
Voldermort glared at Fred. Fred glared back. Shade did a handstand. Bethany fell into Witch's Creek and was swept away. Voldermort screamed "The insanity! The insanity!" Shade looked around. "WHERE?" Voldermort fainted.  
  
When Voldermort came to, he was in a small windowless room with Shade and a slightly wet Bethany. Fred could be heard snorting from behind the door. "Where is this?" he asked. "THEBOMBSHELTER!" "A BOMB shelter? You're witches, what are you afraid of bombs for?" "Cause' it's fun!" A random person ran through the room screaming. This might have gone on for quite a while, but Fate messed up.   
  
Fate laughed evilly. This was going better than planned. At this rate, Voldermort would be driven insane by sunrise. Unfortunetly, as all people know, laughing evilly attracts the attention of parents. Fate's Mother stormed into the room. "Fate! How many times do I have to tell you, no torturing mortals! Now go to your room!" Fate sulked off to its room. Fate's Mother glared down at the Earth. "Now time to clean up this mess." she muttered.   
  
Back at Witch Creek Manor, Fred was chasing Voldermort around the room while Shade and Bethany calmly sat in the center drinking tea. Or what Shade called tea anyway. Abruptly, Fred disappeared, and Voldermort's locked legs sprang apart. 'Finally!' he thought. Shade and Bethany looked up. "OHLOOKITSTOPPEDRAINING! WECANGOOUTSIDENOW!" "Raining?" Shade and Bethany grabbed Voldermort's hands and dragged him outside, depositing him on the front lawn. His wand lay in the grass. "Thanks for visiting, Daddy! Please come again!" "BYEBYEAUNTLAURA!" Voldermort blinked. "They . . .set me free . . .THEY SET ME FREE!" Voldermort stood on his toes and did a dance of joy. While he was dancing, a piece of paper fell out of his pocket. Voldermort picked it up. It read: Potter, James and Lily. Shade, Lady of Witch's Creek. Voldermort shuddered at the last line and tore the paper up. 'Right, time to get to work. James and Lily Potter.' It was time to kill.  
  
Voldermort stalked to the Potters and knocked in the door. James Potter jumped to his feet. "We must have been betrayed! Lily, take Harry and run!" "No, I won't leave you!" "Avada Kedavra!" Voldermort stalked past the bodies and over to Harry. He aimed. "Avada Ked-" "Purple Skunk!" Voldermort jerked, and the bolt missed Harry, grazing his forehead and leaving a scar. Voldermort turned to face Mindi. "YOU!" Mindi grinned evilly. "Are you planning to haunt me forever?" Mindi nodded. "Purple Skunk!" And with that, Voldermort lifted his wand and performed the Killing Spell . . .on himself. Of course this did not work, as Voldermort was more than half immortal. He turned and fled the Potter house, closely followed by Mindi.  
  
(A/N: Yay! Voldermort finally was driven insane! Mindi just had to have the last word, didn't she. I'm sorry if the ending offended anyone. I think I'll write a sequel set in the present time, if I get enough reviews. Think new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher! REVIEW!) 


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